Much like spiders, the only good scorpion is a dead scorpion. At least that’s my opinion.

Having lived my entire life in Southern California, I’ve seen (and killed) my share of spiders. Big ones, little ones, the kind with long legs, and even some short hairy ones. I’m also not one of those people that would scoop one up and put it outside. Nope, it needs to be dead. And if I saw one in the bedroom before going to bed, it needed to be exterminated or I would never be able to sleep. What if it crawled on me during the night, or worse yet – what if it fell from the ceiling on me?

When we moved to Texas, I really didn’t give a whole lot of thought to bugs. But now that I’ve been here for a while, I really think that there should be some nice person standing on the side of the road as you cross the state line that hands out a pamphlet entitled “Welcome to Texas, Watch Out For These Critters”. Don’t get me wrong, I still love living here, but it seems that there are still a whole lot of “firsts” to be experienced.

The first time I saw one of these guys was as I was unpacking. Not gonna lie – it freaked me out! As in instant tears. As I was melting down, I told JD that I couldn’t live with these things in the house. The exterminator was called immediately, and he is now my best friend. I also remember telling JD (in my teary voice) that the first time I got stung by one that I would cram a much stuff as I could into the back of my car and I would be headed straight back to California. As if there aren’t scorpions there!

I immediately developed this keen sense of knowing when there was anything out of order on the floor. I have gotten to the point where I walk in to a room, and in a matter of seconds, can scour the floor for any irregularities. I know every grain, and every knot on the wood floors and every spec on every tile. I am not even kidding.

During the warm weather months, JD is constantly telling me I shouldn’t be walking around barefoot, but I do. I should be able to walk around in my own house barefoot, right? I think yes! Last week, I defiantly walked (barefoot) into the laundry room to pull some clothes from the dryer. As usual, I opened the door and did my usual quick glance, and in my bare feet went. In hindsight, my only mistake (aside from being barefoot), was not opening the door very wide. Had I done that, I surely would have seen that pesky scorpion sitting right smack in the middle of the floor with its tail up and ready for action.

I pulled a shirt from the dryer and took a step back. Ow. Ouch. Yikes. Holy crap. What the… but I knew instantly what it was. Have you ever stubbed your toe and you see it and you know it’s going to hurt but the pain hasn’t made it’s way from your brain to your toe? Yeah, well that was how this was. I don’t use bad language, just not my style (that, and my mom would have never stood for it!) but I can tell you that every bad word I know, plus some that I made up on the spot ran through my head. I looked down, an there it was – just sitting there waiting to strike again.

“JD, I need your help right now!” He came running in and valiantly squashed it, stinger and all. I know he felt bad for me, he ran and got some anti sting spray all the while holding on to the ice cream bar he’d been eating! He eventually dumped it in the sink, but I know he’d just started on it. I hobbled into the bedroom looking for the frankincense oil that my sister had recently given me. JD had read that frankincense oil pretty much instantly relieves the pain of scorpion stings but we hadn’t actually purchased any. When my sisters were here visiting, we wandered into a store that had some and I had picked it up, but for some reason talked myself out of buying it and I put it down. Little did I know that she had purchased it and gave it to me when we got back to the house (am I glad she did!) It was still on my makeup table, still wrapped in the red (how appropriate) tissue from the store.

I can tell you that this sting went from take your breath away pain to no pain at all in a matter of seconds after applying. I highly recommend it – and hope I never have to use it again.

In the end. I now know that although painful, it wasn’t the worst pain I’ve ever felt. And much like getting over my fear of horses, I’m now over my fear of scorpions. Just kidding. No, not really. Still afraid, still walking around barefoot, and although I wouldn’t mind another road trip to California, my car is not currently packed!