What? I don’t believe it! Shut the front door! We hear that frequently these days, right? Well, that’s exactly what I said when I saw this creepy, crawly, and extremely ugly critter on our front porch. It was late, I was barefoot, and I was tired. “Knock, knock”. “Who is it?” “It’s me, an ugly centipede. My legs and me want to come in and make ourselves at home”. “Oh, you want to come inside? Wait there for just one moment, I’ll be right back”.

I then ran to the laundry room to grab a broom. A broom? Seriously? With all the variety of insect sprays we have (some which spray up to 20 feet away!) I grabbed a broom??? I tiptoed out – after all, I was barefoot and with all the strength I could muster, I swept it away. I was thinking it was going to fly across the driveway, across the yard and end up out on the road where it would be promptly run over and smooshed to smithereens by a car – but NO! It went about 4 feet and landed right on the front walkway. Ugh, it’s dark out here, I can’t keep sweeping this thing 4 feet at a time, and I also don’t want it to make its way back to the front porch. I know what you’re thinking…run inside and get the spray stuff, right? No! Because the minute I take my eyes off this thing, its zillion legs will be in motion and I will never find it again until it makes its way back to the front porch! Rocks. There are rocks along each sided of the walkway, I’ll smash it! But it’s dark out, what if I pick up a rock that has an equally creepy crawly thing in, under, or around it? I took my chances, picked up a rock and threw/tossed/slung it. Dang! I missed it…Steeeerike One. Picked up another rock. Steeerike Two. Oh. My. Gosh. One more time – and it’s a hit! I don’t know if you can see the picture, but this thing is pretty robust. It actually looks like a rubber toy, almost like a fake snake! Like the creature in Tremors! (why do I always reference that movie?!!!) Even though I’ve smashed it with a rock and it’s dead, it’s perfectly intact and looks perfectly alive. I kneeled down to get a good look at it – why is it we like to look t gross things?!!! Mission accomplished. I went in, washed up, climbed into bed and laid there with my eyes wide open because I was sure there was an army of centipedes outside plotting revenge for their fallen soldier.

The next morning I peeked out the window to see if it was still there – and it was. Because they make me feel super brave, I put on my trusty boots and went outside to make sure it was dead. I nudged it with my foot. No movement. Hallelujah! I’ve always been squeamish about spiders, worms, pretty much anything that crawls, so I surprised even myself this time. Well I have to go now. My boots and I are going out to save the world (our little corner of the world, that is!)